HEALING FOR THE HOMOSEXUAL: FACTORS IN CHANGE
For those Christians who have concerns in the area of homosexuality,
a big issue is that of change. What is it? Who's got it? How do we get
it? What should we look for? Is it real? Will it last? How far will it
go? What's involved?
What's the "proof of change?" Is it marriage? The development
of heterosexual interests? The total lack of homosexual desires? The ceasing
of homosexual behaviors? The lack of arousal at homosexual stimuli? Is
change even possible to define?
When the Bible speaks of change or words of like meaning, it talks
of leaving the kingdom of darkness for the kingdom of light; of forsaking
the fatherhood of satan for the fatherhood of God; of serving righteousness
instead of sin; of walking a road that is narrow rather than one that is
wide, of denying the flesh and its lusts rather than obeying them. These
are only a few of the biblical patterns for change. Change is not some
objective thing that can be pinned down. It is a process. It is the continual
process of "leaving," "entering," "serving,"
"forsaking," "denying," "walking." It is
movement, alteration. Change equals process.
Change. for any believer, is the process of leaving the things that
pertain to the kingdom of darkness behind to embrace those things having
to do with the kingdom of light. Change is moving out from under the dominating
effects of satan and willfully submitting one's life and circumstances
to God's control and direction.
For the believer who has strug gled with homosexuality, change would
be leaving the life dominating effects of homosexuality behind. not to
mention assorted others sins that we wrestle with anyway, like gossip,
cheating, lying, etc. Change wouldn't be limited to just the area of behavior
though because homosexuality can be "life dominating" in other
ways.
If homosexual thoughts and fantasies occupy a large part of a person's
time. that could be considered "life dominating." If a per-son
battles homosexual temptations from morning to night, that could also be
considered ''life dominating." A person who cannot escape the guilt
of past or present homosexual experiences or thoughts is being "dominated"
by that condition in a real way. One who lives in fear that they will fall
into homosexual sin again, or one who fears that he may be homosexual,
can be "dominated" by that fear. And those who live under a homosexual
or ex-homosexual identity can be "dominated" by that identity
as it becomes a filter through which they view everything that happens
in their life.
Change isn't just walking away from the sinful behavior. Change is
walking away from ALL of the life dominating effects of a sin. Change,
once again, is a process. The yardstick for measuring change doesn't exist
since the only real "proof of change" is whether or not someone
is still IN THE PROCESS of daily surrender, sanctification, regeneration,
putting to death the fleshly desires, endeavoring to live by the Spirit,
or being conformed to the image of Christ. The other measures don't come
from God's standards.
We need to be aware that there is a lot of pressure all around us to
measure by some other standard. But we need to dwell seriously on Paul's
admonition to the church in Galatia. Are we who began in the spirit going
to continue in the flesh? Are we who began to walk by the standards of
the kingdom of God going to continue to live by the standards of the kingdom
of this world?
One result that has stemmed from this external pressure (often coming
from the church) is that we talk of change in "pie-in-the-sky"
terms rather than in the nitty-gritty terms of daily life. And one of the
nitty-gritty realities of the Christian walk is that some people just aren't
changing.
All of us know of one or more individuals who have been genuinely saved,
but who don't seem to be moving on in their walk with God. Or we know folks
who changed at first, but now seem to be at a standstill. Others appear
to be making progress in some areas of their lives, but the homosexual
area remains a real problem for them. What's going on? Why don't they change?
What are the "missing ingredients" that hinder them from moving
on to maturity?
One crucial missing ingredient is the WILL to change. God will not
overrule the will of a person in the area of change. Surrender is a choice.
Many accept Christ and agree to abstain from unhealthy relationships, but
fail to deal with sinful thoughts and/or thought patterns, read the Word.
pray, enter into fellowship, or allow God to minister to deep hurts in
their lives. Because of this unwillingness. many reach a plateau in their
Christian experience that they have difficulty moving beyond. (We say "have
difficulty" rather than "cannot" because we believe that
God may make it hot enough for them that they will have a change of heart.)
A fairly common missing ingredient is the INCENTIVE to change. Common
responses as we counsel are "but other Christians do it" or "but
other Christians don't have to do this." A recent Gallup poll showed
that 72% of the people questioned believed that the Bible is the Word of
God, but only 12% read it on a daily basis. If this is even close to true.
then we could assume that the majority of believers, and those who struggle
with homosexuality, are leading lives that are not being daily transformed
into the image of Christ. We could further assume that much 0? the righteousness
that they do portray comes from some church standard rather than from the
Word of God. This kind of righteousness becomes rather selective. Certain
sins are frowned upon while others are tolerated. Hypocrisy in the church
and worldliness will do very little to wet someone's appetite to move on
with God.
Another missing ingredient is the HELP to change. If an individual
is struggling with deeply rooted hurts. or behavior patterns that he can't
break. or deception that he is just unable to see. he may well need outside
help to love him and counsel him in these areas. Those who cannot find
caring fellowship that offers mature counsel may also reach a plateau.
God can certainly sort out the hurts. the patterns. and the deceptions
sovereignly, but that process will take time.
PATIENCE for change is another ingredient often missing. So many of
us forget that measurable change TAKES TIME. We tend to expect instant
results and miraculous changes. Because our eyes are set on these things,
we miss the step-by-step, gradual changes that the Lord brings. Sometimes
we have the wrong point of focus. WE only see that a person still falls
homosexually, and we miss the fact that God is working on another problem.
In these cases real change is taking place, but we can be blind to it.
A misunderstanding of the REALITY of change can be a major problem.
It is very easy for us, when talking about change, to quote II Cor. 5:17,
"If any man be in Christ, he IS a new creation. Old things HAVE passed
away, all things HAVE BECOME new," with all the emphasis on the present
tense. But we quote it forgetting about the numerous scriptures dealing
with sanctification, renewing, being transformed, putting off and putting
on, putting to death-very active words that imply that things are still
being changed, still being made new.
The final area is FAITH for change. Faith for change is recognizing
that it is God's intent to change us into the image of His Son, and living
in the expectancy of this truth. Many limit the Gospel by their own experience.
Because they have reached a plateau they assume that that is the limit
of victory that is available. They modify the Gospel message of power and
victory to match their experience. When they pass this watered down message
along to others, they limit the faith of those they are trying to help.
We should remember that any time there is a difference between the Word
of God and our experience, it is our experience that ought to change, and
not the Word of God.
-Ed Hurst
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